It happened! We're murryed!

E and I are spending a quiet night, basically alone, at Holly Farm. We'll do a full write up of the event soon. Right now we are just basking in the glory that was yesterday. The fullest heart-felt thank yous go out to everyone who helped us celebrate.

Evidence is beginning to roll out on the inter-webs:

From Peterme

From Silvereye (friends only)

From Indi (friends only)

From Jason

From the Twitterverse here, and here, and here.

ETA: Leslie just posted her photos.

It's so exciting to get the mail these days. The reply cards are starting to come in. I love the little notes that some folks are adding to the cards. Though I must say, Nick and Viola's reply card takes the cake for the best embellishments.



I think they're excited. :)

We decided fairly early on that we wanted to give favors, and we wanted them to be local to San Francisco, and ideally chocolate. Then came the ideas for what to put said chocolates in. Originally we were going to fold fabric into origami boxes, but that quickly was ruled out to the amount of work. We're still going with the origami box idea, but now we are doing them in paper.

Finding the right paper has turned out to be a lot more difficult than originally thought. We've spent a lot of time at Flax, going through their paper books. We tried all different sizes to figure out how much and how many.

We finally ended up going with a paper we found online at PaperMojo. One of the things we loved about them is that they will cut the paper for us. We still have to cut the 336 pieces for the little liner boxes, but that's better than having to do all the cutting. We also have to find a ribbon that we like to make the bow on the box.

Now the fun starts: the folding! I have a feeling we are going to become experts in peak folds.

…From the State of California to the World:

I know, we're supposed to be the vanguard. We're supposed to lead the way, set the agenda, be at the forefront on exactly this kind of delightfully blistering, divisive, sticky cultural issue, especially given our world-renowned reputation for flying our fearlessly flamboyant freak flag as high as the Transamerica Pyramid dancing on ecstasy at Burning Man.

[ … ]

In other words, we're supposed to know better. We're supposed to get it right, particularly about something as obvious and relatively, uh, straightforward as gay marriage, exactly the kind of issue about which the world expects California not merely to have our godless, revolutionary sh-t together, but to know how to follow through. After all, in terms of blue-state, damn-the-fundamentalists street cred, we gotta represent.

This is why the truth is so very difficult to admit: we failed. Choked. Dropped the ball. Botched it completely. Gay marriage, that is. Prop 8. The whole gay rights shebang. What a shame. And how utterly embarrassing.

He rambles a bit in the middle, but still says it better than I can.

Let’s make one thing absolutely clear: We will put this right!

How very odd…

Food for thought:

Some folks are making a whole vacation out of coming to the wedding. If you get a chance to spend a few days in San Francisco, we encourage you to do so. Here are a few things to do while you are here:

Activities

You are going to want to ride the cable cars. You can't visit SF without doing that. The night tour of Alcatraz is very cool. You do have to make reservations as the tickets for it sell out (day or night). Right around there is Fisherman's Wharf/Ghiradelli Square, which is often on the top of people's lists. It's VERY touristy and crowded. Locals avoid it like the plague. Lombard Street is also over there (though Vermont St, which is right near us, is more crooked and scarier to drive down).

The CA Academy of Sciences just reopened. We haven't had a chance to go there yet, but everyone says it's amazing and awesome. I would HIGHLY recommend it. If you want to go to an art museum, there is the DeYoung Museum and the Legion of Honor. These are all in Golden Gate Park, which is lovely to go to. The Japanese Tea Garden, also in the park, is quiet beautiful. There is also a museum of modern art, which is nice and an Asian art museum which is suppose to be quite good.

Both Japantown and Chinatown are worth seeing. They are downtown. Great food, neat shops. North Beach is the Italian neighborhood and there is amazing food there. Feels like parts of New York. The Ferry Building is also downtown (at the end of Market Street) on the Bay side. On the weekends is the farmer's market there. There are all kinds of neat shops, most of them local and organic.

The Sutro Baths are on the ocean-side of the city. They are ruins of old bath houses. It's lovely to see the sun set over the ocean there. You can also go walking (can't really call it hiking) around there.

Walk or ride a bike over the Golden Gate Bridge. It's $5 to drive over it, which at the very least you should do. But there's nothing like feeling the wind whip around you. Plus it's free if you are on foot/bike. Crissy Fields and Fort Mason are on the south side of the bridge. The Marin Headlands on the north side of the bridge are great for hiking. You can also go into Sausalito for lunch, which is a ritzy little tourist trap town (originally an artist community). You can ride the ferry back to SF afterwards.

Food

San Franciscans pride themselves on the local food, which draws from cusines of the world, makes a point of local, sustainable ingredients, and a bit of flourish. There's everything here from the haute to the modest, and you don't have to spend a lot to get something sublime. A smattering of our favorites:

Millennium

Our most common description of Millennium is that "They make incredible food that just happens to be vegetarian (mostly vegan)" WAIT! Check your preconceptions at the door, and your experiment will be greatly rewarded. Avowed meat eaters we've brought here have all had a wonderful meal (much to their own surprise!)

Their menu changes frequently, and they're always looking for what's fresh. The dessert menu often has pairings that induce (at a minimum) a head scratch. Yet somehow they work as if by magic!

La Taqueria or Taqueria Cancùn

In San Francisco the burrito has mutated and taken on a life of its own. It is as big as your head and comes wrapped in foil. Locals will eschew utensils and make it the ultimate on-the-go fast food. I may be risking a religious holy war by putting forth a suggestions for a good burrito, but both of these places are in the heart of The Mission, a quick walk from a BART station if you don't feel up to walking there.

Absinthe

Walking distance from our new house, in the heart of Hayes Valley, this brasserie offers unique cocktails and some very yummy food. Try the fried chickpea appetizer, but be warned: they are addictive!

The Slanted Door

Pan-Asian fusion (with an emphasis on Vietnamese) in the Ferry Building. Spend some time perusing the stalls in the Ferry Building before treating yourself to this experience!

Dosa

The original is on Valencia in The Mission, but the link above is to our local Dosa. (It's bigger!) Across the street from the Kabuki Theatre (now a Sundance Theatre) Contemporary southern Indian cuisine. (Most folks are only familiar with northern Indian) Cocktails blended with spices to accentuate your entrees.

Sapporo-Ya

If your only exposure to ramen are freeze-dried noodles and a questionable "flavor packet" you need to come to Japantown, peruse the wares offered for sale at Kintetsu Mall, and order some miso-based ramen Sapporo-Ya. I will not argue that it is the best ramen in the Bay Area, but it is close to home, modestly priced, and quite satisfying.

If you're looking for something specific, ask us! We'd love to help!

If you haven’t yet made your lodging reservations, now is a good time. Some venues won’t take reservations more than 6 months out, and we just passed that threshold.

Carmel / Monterrey / Pacific Grove fills up fast in the summer, and Neeley reminded us that the Pebble Beach Concours d’Elegance is the week following our wedding. Many people coming for that will likely arrive during our wedding weekend.

Don‘t be left with the Padre Oaks (of the Bed o' Concrete fame)! Go to the lodging page and find a place that suits you!

Just wanted to let folks know. The Green Lantern Inn is now accepting reservations for August 2009. This is one of Erik and my favorite places to stay. It's a group of storybook cottages in downtown Carmel-by-the-Sea. The beds are comfy enough (not the most we've ever seen but certainly far from worse). And there is free breakfast and wifi. 

From the Courage Campaign Website:

Opportunities to change the hearts and minds of Americans on same-sex marriage don’t come along very often. Based on this unprecedented reaction, we think “Fidelity” is one of them. Fuel the phenomenon of “Fidelity”. Watch the video. Sign the letter. Spread the word.

This weekend Erik and I went down to Carmel to meet with some vendors for the wedding. We stayed at the lovely Gosby House Inn in downtown Pacific Grove. It's a huge old Victorian turned Bed and Breakfast. They make fantastic blueberry blintzes. Highly recommend it as a place to stay for the wedding, unless you are allergic to English rose wallpaper.

We met with a Kate of Big Sur Flowers and came up with some exciting ideas for bouquets and such. We also met with Jim of Sight-n-Sound to talk about music for the evening. We met in the lobby of the Bernardus Lodge and Winery. Talk about swanky! I'm surprised they let us in wearing jeans. We also did a wine tasting at Bernardus, and while the folks working there were nice enough, we didn't overly care for the wine.

And then there was the cake. So much cake. We met with three bakers on Sunday. For those of you planning a wedding, don't schedule three cake tastings in one day. Trust me. Not only do you have the problem that they all start to look and taste the same. But you set yourself up for some big time sugar crashes just at the time you are starting the hour and a half drive home.

We met with the amazing Edith Meyer, Gerard of Patisserie Bechler and Marina of Just Cake. The cakes at all three places were just amazing and we would be happy with any of them. No matter who we go with I think we are going to have two types of cake. We loved the Meyer lemon cakes at all three places. We'll probably go with a chocolate something for the second flavor. We're just waiting for the estimates now and then will make our decision.

It was a great weekend away. We got a ton of planning and meeting and calling done. We even managed to squeeze in a few games of Ticket to Ride and Carcassone and saw the movie The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, which we both really enjoyed, at the little theater in Pacific Grove. Nice mix of work and play. Today it seems weird not to be eating any cake though.

Last month it occurred to me that since we are getting married on August 8, it means there are actually 7 months left before the wedding, not 8. I started to freak out a bit. And by a bit, I mean a lot. Oh, and since it's now February it means 6 months. eep!

We are tasked with finding a baker and to decide on a cake this weekend. We also are going to meet with a few florists and maybe a DJ or two (since it turns out my cousin E can't make it. Boo.)

Tonight we also started... The List.



I "borrowed" a piece of GatorBoard from work. Armed with a bunch of Sharpies and many colors of Post-Its, our hallway is now a hanging to do list. It feels so good to have that stuff out of my head and some place where it won't get forgotten. Then I look at how many stickies there are and a freak out just a bit more. Will feel better when I reach the point of more stickies coming off the board than are going on.

We're in the process of setting up cake tastings with a number of bakeries for the coming weeks. Hence we've been looking at a lot of photos of cakes, trying to get a feel for what we would like. Tonight I had a flash back to when I was 6 or so and we used to go to the Italian bakeries on the weekends. I loved looking at the model wedding cakes they had and the photos of what they had done. Many, looked like this:

Do you remember these cakes? With the fountains? And the stairs? I used to think they were the most awesome thing ever. The bigger, and more ornate, the better.

Now, they make me giggle. I don't think this is the kind of cake we'll be getting. But it certainly makes me laugh to think about it for just a moment.

The book and site, Offbeat Bride, has been many the source of inspiration for our wedding. Ever since I saw the profile of Bree's rock 'n' roll wedding there and went to the Whirlingturban site I knew I wanted them to make my dress. I've been emailing with Katherine and Mindra since January figuring out styling, sizing and fabrics.

I decided to have them make a trial version of the dress out of a cotton fabric before they make the real one. This will give us a chance to make sure the style is right and the fit is perfect.

Today it arrived.

;

There was this tiny little box all wrapped up in packing tape with a return address in Indonesia. Whirlingturban is based in Bali, so I knew it had to be the dress.



I can't wait to get home and to try it on. The fabric feels wonderful. I ran all over the top floor the office here showing everyone. I ordered wool the same color of the dots to knit a little bolero jacket for it. I'm hoping the wool arrives today too so I can knit it while I'm in Mexico next week and wear them both to the AP company party on Dec 1. 

I know this site is about E and I and our wedding plans. But I have to say something about this, for the simple reason that we CAN have wedding plans and others in this state cannot.

I am so ashamed that Prop 8 passed. I fail to see how letting two consenting adults get married impinges on the rights of anyone else. You should be able to marry the person you love. Their internal plumbing shouldn't factor into it or be anyone else's business, especially the state.

Tomorrow, Saturday November 15 from 10:30 am-12:30ish there will be a protest at San Francisco City Hall against Proposition 8 being passed. Please come out and show your support. I know it's kind of silly to have a protest in San Francisco (of course we feel this way), but it has to start someplace. More information on the San Francisco protest can be found at http://protest8sf.wordpress.com/. There is also information at the Join the Impact site. 

In March, we learned about the Wedding Ring Workshop, where couples make each other’s ring. That seemed perfect! But as time has gone on, and we’ve watched our budget grow, we’ve wondered if it was really necessary. Chiara has recently been saying that her engagement ring is more than adequate to serve double duty. My betrothed is nothing if not practical. (On the other hand, she does love her sparkleys, so we’ll see if that lasts.)

It seems a bit strange to me that I've gotten my headwear before I have my dress. But when you see something that makes you say "That's PERFECT!," well, I think you just have to jump for it.

At Kim Bennett's art show last weekend, we were talking about the wedding plans. I told her my ideas for the dress. With a smile and gasp she said "Oh you could get one of those little pillbox hats with the small veil." Once I got that image in my head, I was sold. I had been considering my hair pulled back on one side and held with a big flower. But I love the idea of the hat and veil.

I was trolling eBay looking for vintage pillbox hats. I found a few that might work, might work well. But I forgot to watch the items, and when I went back I couldn't find them again. *le sigh* But then I found this.

It's not vintage, but it's just was I was looking for. I can't wait until it arrives! *squee*

When we were first planning our event we quickly narrowed the location to two very different locations. The first was a State Park & Beach (Asilomar), the other was a private farm inland from the shore where we'd have the entire venue to ourselves for the whole weekend (Holly Farm).

In order to have our event at Asilomar, we would have to fill out an extensive application and wait for approval. They do not take applications more than 1 year in advance.

One year out, it's likely that Holly Farm would already be booked. We went back and forth on this decision a whole lot, and eventually decided to splurge for Holly Farm, with the understanding that the block of rooms for our guests would be at Asilomar, and we'd have a bonfire there Friday night.

There were many reasons why we felt Asilomar suited our event so well:

1. It's a State Beach
2. The architecture (designed by California's first licensed female architect) is listed as a National Landmark.
3. The arrangement of rooms is such that there are common gathering spaces for sets of rooms. People could meet, visit, mingle and generally socalize in these spaces.
4. The grounds are spectacular, and very different from the East Coast beaches with which most of the atendees would be familiar.
5. There are no televisions in the rooms, making it more likely for people to congregate in the public spaces.[*]
6. Breakfast would be provided to the guests
7. Being a State Park, the rooms are quite reasonable.
8. Etc, etc, etc.

Chiara called Friday to start the process of reserving a block of rooms, and learned that they have booked an event for the entire grounds on our planned weekend. We won't be able to house our guests there[**], we won't be able to have our Friday night bonfire on the beach.

I was very nearly devastated by this news. I was tickled at the prospect at having our (wedding) cake and eat it too. It was the best of both worlds. Really, a setback like this was bound to happen. An affair of this magnitude can't be planned without a few hitches. This may be a rather big one, but in the end it is hardly insurmountable.

I have faith that we can work around it. We will find some way to make it work, and in the end everything will be fine. I'm still reeling, but we will persevere.

[*] The only way this could be more perfect is if we could schedule the event to coincide with some major sporting event.

[**] As it turned out, we would only have been able to reserve a block of rooms if we had our event there, so this was not a possibility in any case.

About “...the best choice” from my previous post. It’s a thorny issue. One of the things we did early on (probably on Ariel’s advice) was look at the various line-items of your typical wedding budget and put priorites to them. It should surprise no-one that we put photography pretty close to the top of the list.

This week we talked about our various options. All of them are capable. It’s clear that we’d be satisfied with any of them. But each of them is very different. Of the original three there were two front-runners, and one probable winner. The rub, of course, is that said winner is more than our original budget for photography. Probably (once you add up every little itemized thing) quite a bit more.

That’s ok, we’ve prioritized. Photography was pretty close to the top, so we just need to rebalance everything, right? But wait, do we really? Is the photography the number one priority? And then I had an epiphany. To be honest, the number one priority is not having the stress-filled, abbreviated, cookie-cutter event in a country-club reception hall.

The number one priority was having a whole-weekend event, surrounded by our circle, our tribe, in a laid-back atmosphere at the locations we’ve chosen. This is obvious, given that we’ve allocated over half our budget to said locations (and already committed a sizable chunk of change to reserving them, so it’s a bit late to reprioritize too much), but it still feels better to frame it that way.

I think that part of the allure of Jerry Yoon, apart from all the things I’ve already mentioned, is that he also gets us (me) out of a jam: that prospect completely side-steps the danger of feeling like we’re “settling” for our second choice.

Our wedding planning is starting to ramp up. Most recently, we’ve been interviewing photographers. We investigated quite a number of possibilities on the web, and chose 3 that we knew we wanted to interview (including one who we watched work (or tried to) at the wedding of two friends).

Our last interview was Tuesday evening. While the next task of comparing apples to oranges, to a Farbergé egg is still before us, I felt good about getting the interview process behind us.

On the way home on Tuesday, Chiara mentioned that a friend (and coworker) had mentioned a friend of hers who “takes beautiful pictures, and might be more economical, since they’ve only been doing it for 4 or 5 years.” My thought on that was, “Well, yes, I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to take a look at their webs—wow!”

Go ahead, look for yourself. Spend some time exploring it a bit. I’ll be here when you get back.

There are a few facets of these photos that grab me. They are heavily weighted toward candids, and the energy in them is wonderful. Even the posed portraits are interesting, and don’t feel forced or contrived. They also have a modern style without that “hipster-(too-)cool, full-of-yourself” (sneering) veneer that we both find so off-putting. We’d been looking at more traditional photographers specifically because we didn’t want anything to do with that. They also have elements that were common to everyone with whom we spoke.

In spite of what Alexa said, they’re not all that inexpensive. (Though their packages tend to include more, so they may end up being economical.) But they do get major kudos for being up-front enough to put package pricing on the web. (Though -20pts for the “page” that’s just one big image, and -10 extra for the horizontal scrolling (which would probably be 10 or 20 more if I didn’t have two-finger scrolling on my MBP). It just occurred to me that the “one big image” page could be a way to make sure it doesn’t get indexed. Still, points off.)

So, we’re setting up another interview. If you told me that on Tuesday, I would have accepted it with a weary acquiescence. But I devoured that site, I loved the feel of it. Without realizing it, I looked up and realized I was 17 pages in. I’m actually excited to talk to them, and see if they’re the best choice.

These might just be the shoes.

Edit: On further inspection they appear to be art pieces, not available for sale.

Technorati Profile

The Alien Stamen Penis is dead! Long live the, er, not so much.

I can't articulate why, but when I put together the design for this site I was dead set upon using a calla lily for the header. Chiara had made the very sensible suggestion that the images all be photos one of us had taken. There was one calla lily that I could make work, but when it was cropped down into the header I thought it looked rather unseemly, but I figured it was my mind in the gutter.

When Kate echoed that opinion, I knew I had the excuse I’d wanted needed to revisit the design elements, which had come to haunt and mock me as I was finishing up the site design.

Some of you with sick minds may want to point out that I’ve just traded one end of the spectrum for the other. To those people I say: “Long live the field of engorged, alien labia!”

(seriously, we’re talking about plant sex organs, of course there's some resemblance.)

Mark your calendars: August 8, 2009!

E and I have checked with the lovely folks at Holly Farm in Carmel Valley, CA and we are the first to put a hold on 8-8-09. Go us! So it looks like the wedding will be the weekend wedding that we've talked about with some folks: show up Friday and leave on Monday, with the ceremony happening on Saturday.

One of the (many) reasons we love Holly Farm is that there is room on-site for 22 people and there are a couple of houses that Holly Farms owns in Carmel (one is across the street) that we can also rent. Immediate family and the wedding party will have first priority/right of first refusal for staying on-site. We'll probably hold a block of rooms over at Asilomar for other folks. And there is always the Farm lawn for those that want to pitch a tent after the festivities.

Two decisions down, 8 billion to go! WOO-HOO!

... that my intended kicks ass! Now, I know that I may be a bit biased, but I think that's okay. I believe it's all well and good to be biased towards the person you've decided to hitch your wagon to.

E has put SO much work into get this site and blog up and running. I watch him sitting on the couch or in his office with screens of code flowing by. It's been so nice to know that I don't have to worry about any of this. From my vantage point it just automagically appears. And that is AWESOME! It's so nice when someone is able to say "I have passion about this" and goes and runs with it. It really is a beautiful thing.

I hope he realizes how much it does mean to me. I know I may not have said it enough lately. But it really does. I love you sweetie. And I do honestly love the design. So you can stop futzing with it at anytime. *smooch*

This page will eventually contain details of our event. Here's what we know so far:

This week I was teasing Chiara about wanting to incorporate some of the ideas from this Steampunk Wedding. But then we poked around Offbeat Bride and realized that while Steampunk might not be our brand of freak, we had definitely discovered a tribe that railed against the Wedding Industrial Complex at least as much as we did. There are some wonderful ideas here and are such a relief after leafing through Modern Bride and its ilk.

We've already ordered the book, and look forward to reading it!

(And, to be fair, I do like some of the aesthetic aspects of Steampunk. Just not enough to incorporate it into our wedding. Especially when Chiara doesn’t share that sense.)

We’ve spent the past few weekends going to jewelers trying to find a new design for Chiara’s engagement ring. The stones in my mother’s ring are lovely, but the daisy configuration is not to our tastes.

The trouble is that the emerald, as gorgeous as it is, is badly damaged, and nobody really wants to set it as is, nor do they really want to cut it.

We’ve worked with our current favorite jeweler to design a new ring, and we're both really excited. So much so that after leaving to “think about it” after the final pass, we fought traffic back there to put down a deposit to start the process so we can have it before we leave for the East Coast.

I can't wait to see the final result!

This should only go to my wedding filter. But it didn't go anywhere.

Oh, funny how that "Crosspost: No" radio button does exactly what it says on the tin.

Crap,  my crosspost plugin isn't storing the LJ id & anum  anymore. I had that working before the code-revamp. Two steps forward, one step back.

Typo on the crosspost date code, I think I've got it now. One last edit to confirm it.

There may be something here soon.